Archive for September, 2015

My Sunday morning, or How I Fought a Wild Animal.

My usual Sunday morning is peaceful. We usually get up around 7:30 ante meridiem and have a leisurely cup of java and something light for breakfast. Little did I know this fateful morning I would face off against a fierce wild animal determined on feasting on our carcasses after slaying all in the house.

It began with Penny, our fierce warrior miniature dachshund, whose skill at finding enemies large and small and alerting us to their presence. Usually her foes were somewhat less than lethal; spiders, flies, cats across the street, and the occasional squirrel up a light pole. This morning was different, the foe was not only inside the house but was hissing and spitting at Penny, something that spiders and flies usually do not do.

Clad only in my Hanes briefs and tee shirt I ventured into the domain of the hissing beast. What evil fiend awaited I did not know. Armed with a two foot long grabby thingamajig (please forgive the technical jargon,) I faced off against the terrible didelphimorphia, a formidable foe indeed. Yes the evil opossum is a creature that only the bravest of men face with anything less than a large caliber rifle lest the beast turnabout and the hunter become the prey. Apparently the sly creature had  gained entrance the previous day while the back door was open to the brisk September air.

The brave Penny had cornered the beast behind the entertainment center. As I maneuvered the grabby thingamajig to grasp the beast it attacked. . . the grabby thingamajig. Since I could not apply the grabby thingamajig I took hold of another tool, a Swiffer sweeper, to engage the beasts attention whilst I maneuvered the grabby thingamajig to capture it. Eventually I managed to grab the creature and hold it while my trusty boon companion, Sharon procured a reusable canvas grocery bag which we used as containment device until the wily opossum could be released outside.

I am happy to report that neither man nor beastie were harmed by this incident.


September 20, 2015 at 10:38 am Leave a comment


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